One of my most nagging problems, aside from the occasional centipede (Where do they live? What is their higher purpose? Where is the command center located? What do they do at night? Do they really sting?), not having a back up supply of sturdy, clear plastic bins and the presence of silverfish (Why do they want to be in my bed from time to time? What is their preferred slithering route? Where do they give birth? Do they hibernate please god yes.) is the pillow situation.

I am stumped.

Why is it, when using the exact same pillows every night, they rate so differently on my comfort scale by the time I get into bed? Maybe it’s the fluffing aspect, or lack thereof. It could be the humidity, the strength or direction of the ceiling fan. Maybe it’s how much sunlight I let in or the length of time I open the windows to air out the bedroom. Has this been studied?

It’s like they have a life of their own and do whatever they want during the day, before bedtime. Even if I sit and watch them, they change.

As you can see I’ve now amassed numerous pillows. This has not solved the problem.

I love a night where I’m all set to dive into the television binge of the moment and when I squish my back against the pillows my torso lands perfectly. What a relief! All parts of my spin and head are balanced with just the right amount of support.

If I get up for some more corn chips or to use the bathroom it’s ruined. What have my sneaky pillows done in those brief moments of my absence?